Saturday, February 8, 2014

Sexy Girls

The lone reason why the world exists, figuratively, and literaly!!!
Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?

1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.

2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.

3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.

4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.

5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.

6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.

7. It's best to have a soft place to land. 

8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.

9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them.

10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.

11. Once you learn, you never forget how.

12. If you fall off get right back on.

13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.

14. Remember to signal before you change direction.

15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.

16. Once you're over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.

17. That's why some of them are called Mountin' Bikes.
by DGlaze March 21, 2007

1. Females or Males considered as a group, known as gender

2. For people in a steady relationship, known as making love

To describe what happened with that slut at a party, known as fucking or shagging

The act of sexual intercourse between two or more organisms. In humans commonly used for pleasure, with other species used specifically for reproductive purposes. 

In humans, a man and a woman (or even same sex e.g. man and man) get together and begin to kiss passionately. Things get more steamy and the man and woman begin to lose clothing, either by the other person or themselves removing it. 
The man, who by this point has an erect (hard) penis, and the woman, who by this point has a lubricated (wet) vagina begin to fondle eachothers bodies ('heavy petting') with either their hands, mouths or other objects (e.g. dildo, vibrator) until they both decide they're ready for penetration. 

This can be done with the woman or man on top, in various positions. 

With the woman on top, the woman stradles herself at the mans crotch with her hands placed onto his stomach and slowly slides his hard penis into her wet vagina. At this point the man can be fondling her breasts as she slowly slides up and down his penis gradually getting faster. This continues until orgasm for both parties is reached, where the male can ejaculate either internally or externally. 

With the man on top, the woman spreads her legs (or has the man do it for her) and either holds her legs high up (for deeper penetration) or at her side for the man to slide his penis into her. Eye-contact and closeness are positives of this position. The man then slides in and out of her, again getting faster until orgasm of both parties is reached and the man can ejaculate either internally or externally. 

After this act, couples can either cuddle, kiss, and sleep, or quickly rush out of the toilet because someone's knocking. 
"When me and Phil make love, it's amazing, I love nothing more than feeling him deep inside me as I bounce up and down on his long, hard cock. Orgasm is unselfish and I love nothing more than having him cum in my mouth as I lick both his and my juices off his cock."
"Wow, that's some good sex." 

Sex is like math:

You add the bed,
Subtract the clothes,
Divide the legs,
And pray you don't multiply.
Guy 1 to guy 2: Sarah and I were remembering high school math in bed last night when we had sex. We went at it like wild monkeys!
by (v.j.o) March 27, 2008
Only exercise most Americans get anymore
Sex: Great way to have fun and lose weight at the same time
by andrewtye October 23, 2007
Well, sex is basically one of the greatest, most wonderful sensations known to human kind. 
It not only makes babies, but it also makes you healthier ! Careful, though, kid. You could get STDs. 

When a bird has sex with a bee
"Son.. let me tell you about the birds and the bees"
*Dad explains*
"Any questions

"Yeah dad, why is the bird, having sex with the bee"
by Sgt Fez March 19, 2006

Roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour kissing is a habit fucking is a game guys get all the pleasure girls get all the pain 10 minutes of pleasure 9 monthes of pain 3 days in the hospital a baby with no name the baby is a basterd the mother is a whore this never would have happened if the rubber hadn't tore sex us like math you subtract the clothes add the bed divide the legs and pray to god you don't multiply roses are red grass is green open your legs and I'll fill you with cream sex is evil sex is a sin sins are forgiven so stick it in roses are nice violets are fine I'll be the 6 if you be the 9 eat me beat me bite me blow me fuck me suck me very slowly if you like it don't be sassy use your tounge and make it nasty
Have safe sex
by Cutiepie30h3 June 30, 2009

1.A painful activity in which a man, using the stiffest and pointiest part of his pelvic region, repeatedly stabs a female in her crotch until he feels satisfied. Can also take place between two men, in which one male stabs the other in the bum. Lesbian "sex" may be fun and all, but it aint real sex unless there is some sort of stabbling going on, perhaps with a cleverly shaped hand or steel dildo.

"As I lie expectantly on the comfortable couch, wearing only the see-through nightgown he bought me, he approaches. I spread my legs and am immediately arroused. He takes off his boxers and I see the largest most wonderful penis I have ever seen. He then lays ontop of me and strokes my breast gently. Soon his fingers move down my silky smooth body and rest on my thigh where his penis rests. We then get into position and he begins to gently move up and down. Shortly afterwards we experience the greatest pleasure known to anyone and are moaning and shouting, "FUCK ME! FUCK ME! YEAH BABY! SAY MY NAME!" and with these words I grab his ass and massage it gently. Then we roll over and I grab his hands and place them on my breasts where they remain until tomorrow"
by Lt. Ass VE Hump March 07, 2005

The word that comes up in the related words whenever you search something on Urban Dictionary. Anything.
I searched "A" on Urban Dictionary and "sex" was in the related words section... weird.
by yaintime21 May 26, 2008

I cannot believe that you're spending your time looking up sex on the internet. Pervert! Sheesh...
Then again, you're not the one spending his time writing a definition for sex on the internet.
by I rock your ass December 12, 2006

Best damn activity out there.

Levels of Satisfaction:]

(Level 1)
*inadequate pleasure for woman, humiliation for man*
0 + <=8 = :-/

(Level 2)
*satisfaction for woman, yet, more satisfaction for man*
0 + <===8 = :-)

(Level 3)
*Unexplicable pleasure for woman, great pride for man*
0 + <========8 = :-D 
"I'm bored"
"Me too"
"Let's have sex"
by i-Do-whAt-I-waNt June 10, 2006
Something that nice guys/geeks like me will never experience. This due to the fact that typical human females go for the bigger, dumber alpha male.
Me: “What’s wrong Melissa, why are you crying?

Melissa: “My boyfriend played me for some hoe!”

Me: “aww, that’s sad…is there anything I can do to help?”

Melissa: “No thanks, I took care of that last night when I had make up sex with some other jock”

Me: “oh…ok…

Melissa: “Thanks so much for trying, you’re such a NICE GUY Salem!”

Me: “Well, if you need me, I’ll be in my room, crying while masturbating to pictures of you from middle school…”

*goes home and masturbates to pictures of Mel from middle school* 
by BitterSalem April 10, 2007



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